May I offer a suggestion to our Board Of Supervisors?
Whereas S.F. Supervisors are the paragon of liberality and recently affirm this with the issuance of I.D. cards to illegal immigrants. Whereas S.F. Supervisors would like San Franciscans at large to follow and model their own personal behavior on the Board's personality. Should it not follow that the mostly poor,illegal immigrants that we want to attract to San Francisco be somewhat modeled on the Board and our city's preferred resident? Therefore to that goal I propose the requirement of a an oath of preferred behavior from said illegal immigrants before they be granted quasi-legal illegal status.
To wit:
I am an illegal immigrant and I promise the following. So help me Tom Ammiano.
1) I will never have children until I am legal.
2) I will never be a burden to the S.F. tax payer.
3) I will never commit ANOTHER illegal act which includes promoting or supporting cock fighting or using or selling drugs.
4) I will never litter.
5) I will never vote republican.
6) I want affirmative action status against other settled minorities so that the Board can appear to be even more liberal than previously imagined. How else can I afford to live in the city? Maybe if the Board would partition some homes in the Western Addition, Chinatown or Pacific Heights?
7) I promise to be ambivalent about anything that requires critical thinking.
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